Learning a new language all over again, I have a chance to re-live the experience of my first years in the US. I came to the US when I was 19. Many linguists would agree that age 19 is the “threshold” to acquire a second language to the level of near-native fluency. In other words, it is more likely for a youth under 19 (than a person over the age of 19) to acquire a second language and achieve the fluency of a native speaker. I could feel that it is no longer easy for me to remember new vocabulary as when I was learning English. The advantage I have this time is the experience of acquiring a new language, as well as the experience of teaching it to adult learners.
All that said, it is still not easy and it is still frustrating. Many times I knew I had previously learned that word or that concept, but I was just unable to get it into the dialogue. When a native speaker speaks to me in the normal speed and normal speech, I can only rely on the few words I may know, as well as the context of the conversation, in order to guess what s/he is saying. That strategy does not always work. When I say something back, I can only rely on their patience as they try to understand what I say.
Learning a new language is not the matter of knowing a bunch of vocabulary, even though it is very important to know a lot of vocabulary. Neither is it the matter of translating word by word. Learning a new language is learning a new way of forming thoughts and expressing thoughts. There are many close relations in semantics between English and Spanish, so several times I can make the connection and guess. But when it comes to conjugating verbs, it is a whole new ball game. Subject-verb agreement in English becomes child-play. We have to watch not only gender agreement, but also time agreement, mood agreement and number agreement. Adding to it are the irregular verbs. Then reflexive verbs come to place as new and demanding teachers asking us to follow the rules that we have never heard of before.
I am happy = Estoy contento (if I am a male)
She is happy = Está contenta
They are happy = Estan contentos
I wake up = me levanto
She wakes up = se levanta
She wakes me up = Ella me levanta
We wake up = nos levantamos
He woke up = se levantó
They woke up = se levantaron
I was a teacher = Yo era un maestro, but “I was a teacher for 2 years” = Yo fui un maestro por 2 años.
The priest who is the director of our group motivated us at the beginning of the program with the advice: when learning a new language and living in the midst of a new culture, we just have to put ourselves out there. People may have the impression that we were dumb; we may feel stupid many times; there will be occasions that we just can’t get the point across; and there will be lots of misunderstandings. But they are all parts of the learning experience. Taking it in perspectives, these experiences would be even more challenging for those who are relatively articulated in their first language. For them, there would be a great adjustment to make from being able to articulate well what they want to express to having to rely on guessing and making gestures to get the point across.
So what motivates me to learn? Complements from teachers and others do help but they are not reliable. One day I could feel so smart being able to say something easily, then the next day I could feel totally stupid in front of a little kid. One comment from the host family, however, that encourages me a lot is that they are happy because at least I try to communicate and practice Spanish with them. I can spend hours in the evening finishing homework and reviewing what I learned in the morning, but the following day won’t witness the fruits of my hard work of the night before. When I wake up in the morning, what gets me going can’t be the thought that what I learned yesterday will help me today.
It is here that I find a lot of insights into the spiritual life and find a lot of connections between living spiritual life and acquiring a new language. There is a lot of trust and patience in both spiritual life and learning a new language. The new words I learn today, probably I won’t have a chance to use them by the end of this week. But the next time I use them, they could give me joy; or the next time I forget how to use them, they could give me frustration. But I just have to continue learning new words and continue putting them in use. The same thing with life: there are wounds in the past that sometimes give us joy when we see they have been healed, but there are times they give us more pain when we find out they have not been healed. But we just have to continue to live and to love, to trust and to worship God.
Then one day, being able or unable to express a thought does not really matter anymore. What matters is that we are being pulled toward a new horizon of culture and thoughts and beauty.
Then one day, being able or unable to practice a virtue does not really matter anymore. What matters is that we are being pulled toward the source of true Beauty and true Goodness.
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